


Tell my friends I'm coming down

by felinedetached



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, an au in which their canon convo never happened, happy valentines day!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: A little dave<>dirk as a valentines day present for@mothicide!It is… hard, to look at Dirk. Intellectually you know that he is not Bro, and that he never will be, but physically? Add piercings, some stubble and he could be Bro’s clone. In a way, he is.





	Tell my friends I'm coming down

**Author's Note:**

> _Hard times_   
>  _Gonna make you wonder why you even try_   
>  _Hard times_   
>  _Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry_   
>  _These lives_   
>  _And I still don't know how I even survive_   
>  _Hard times_
> 
> [\- Hard Times by Paramore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEB6ibtdPZc)

It is… hard, to look at Dirk. Intellectually you know that he is not Bro, and that he never _will_ be, but physically? Add piercings, some stubble and he could be Bro’s clone. In a way, he _is_.

 

But in all the ways that matter, Dirk Strider is not Bro.

 

If only you could convince yourself of that.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 13:46!

 

TG: hey so i was wondering if we could like  
TG: hang out  
TG: as bros  
TG: because like ive kinda been ignoring you which i know dick move  
TG: and i wanted to fix that  
TG: so how bout it  
TT: I’m always up for hanging out as bros.  
TT: What do you want to do? Play video games, watch movies - I’ve got the SBAHJ movies that my timeline’s you created, if you want to watch them.  
TG: sbahj the movie  
TG: hell yeah  
TG: lets do this  
TT: We’re doing this, bro.  
TG: were making this happen  
TG: see you soon then  
TG: probably  
TG: maybe

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 14:01!

 

It takes a while to work up the courage to contact him. You know you’ll have to talk to him eventually, and the easy comadre between Jake and Jade, John and Jane, Rose and Roxy often makes you wish you could leave the issues behind, like they all seem to be perfectly willing and able to do. Sometimes you wonder if its just because you’re a fuckup - if _that’s_ why you can’t seem to let go of who Dirk isn’t. Rose got over the fact that Roxy is-but-isn’t her alcoholic and neglectful mother, why can’t you get over the fact that Dirk is-but-isn’t your abusive Bro?

 

It shouldn’t be this hard to just chat with him online. It really shouldn’t be.

 

But it is.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 09:24!

 

TG: you look like him  
TT: I’m sorry.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 09:26!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 10:39!

 

TG: i dont mean to hold this over you  
TG: it wasnt your fault  
TG: it wasnt even you  
TG: and i know this i swear i do but you just look so fucking much like him and every day that passes you start looking more and more like him  
TG: im sorry  
TT: You have nothing to be sorry for.  
TG: you dont either

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:04!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 01:28!

 

TG: rose says i should meet up with you so that you can prove youre nothing like bro  
TG: but im not an idiot ive been talking to people  
TG: jane and roxy and jake all see you as a good person and they all reacted terribly when i told them about bro  
TG: terribly in a good way as in they threatened him with bodily harm  
TG: but they can separate you from him so why cant i  
TT: Because you had to live with him.  
TT: You suffered directly. At his hands. You don’t know enough about me to prove I’ll be nothing like your bro, and since I portray a large amount of his mannerisms you’re understandably wary.  
TG: jesus h christ its like theres another rose  
TG: are you sure youre not her clone  
TG: or that shes not your clone  
TT: That thought has crossed my mind.  
TG: well fuck it if im gonna meet with anyone a guy who looks like my bro but acts like my sister is as good a person as any right  
TG: have you talked to her because you two would get along like a house on fire  
TG: i would not want to be there when it burns down but i would totally want to see the fire set  
TG: or set it myself  
TG: whats a little arson between family members right  
TT: You’re rambling.  
TT: You’re nervous.  
TT: You don’t have to do this you know.  
TG: but i want to  
TG: for me as much as for you  
TG: here goes nothing where do you live  
timaeusTestified [TT] sent a file!  
TG: oh cool thanks  
TT: I’ll see you soon?  
TG: yep

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 02:54!

 

TT: Wait, are you coming around now? Shouldn’t you be asleep?

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 02:56!

 

TG: touche

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 02:57!

 

Your hands won’t stop shaking, and you don’t realise they’ve gone numb until your phone hits the floor. But this? This is something you can’t back out of - hell, it’s something you actually kind of want to do! He may look like Bro, but he sounds like Rose, and you’ll be _damned_ if you’re letting Bro control your life even after he’s gone.

 

And he is gone. The game took him from you, took him in front of Davesprite - and god that Dave’s despondent look as he threw himself into your kernel will haunt you for the rest of your life - but there is _proof_ of his death. Eyewitness testimony, the fact that even if he did, somehow, survive a sword through the heart the scratch would have erased him from existence anyway.

 

The person that you are now heading to meet, with shaky hands and wide eyes hidden behind shades, is not Bro. He is Dirk Strider, and he is a person in his own right. You’re not sure if you’re ready to claim him as your brother just yet, but you can recognise that at least.

 

You are meeting with Dirk Strider.

 

Not bro.

 

No matter how many times you say that to yourself, you’re still surprised when you see him. You’d seen pictures, you knew how much he looked like Bro. But up close… up close the differences are minute but visible. Dirk’s facial structure is finer, and his hair is meticulously styled instead of shoved under a cap. His shades, whilst still triangular, have a tiny red light in the corner that wasn’t visible on Bro’s. He doesn’t have any stubble, and where Bro was all muscle Dirk is lean. Bro favoured strength - it is obvious Dirk favours speed. That’s not to say that Bro wasn’t fast (because he was, too fast to see) and most definitely not to say that Dirk is weak (because Dirk would take offense to that, any Strider would) it is just that they trained different things - or, focused on different things in their training.

 

These are _all_ things you could use to differentiate Dirk from Bro, and yet…

 

You can’t. You don’t know _why_ you can’t, you just… can’t. And you want to, you really do. Dirk isn’t Bro, and you _know that_ , but.

 

He looks like him, and acts like him (even if it's not really, because you know they’re versions of each other, and even if he doesn’t really, because no matter how much like Rose he is he’s still _more_ like Bro) and he _is_ him, and yet _isn't_. He didn’t do the same things as the him in your timeline did, and you can’t hate him for what Bro did.

 

You can be scared of him though.

 

So with one hand raised to knock on the door, you hesitate. You’re going to do it anyway, you know you are, and you both want to do this and don’t. Perhaps you’re not ready, not yet, but you should be so you’re going to be, because _Dirk is not Bro god damnit_.

 

He answers promptly, and you only barely hide the flinch when you see him. He notices though, of course he does, Bro always did too and so does Rose, and there's an almost imperceptible twitch - the corners of his mouth turning down, as if he’s sad, or upset, before it straightens out again.

 

“Dave,” he says, voice calm, before he steps back to allow you to enter his apartment. It’s much like your own, but fundamentally different in that half of the doors are blocked and only three rooms seem to be in use. Dirk’s bedroom is where yours would be, and the door leading to where Bro’s bedroom would be is blocked off. That’s comforting, somehow. The living room isn’t set up the same way as yours, and there actually seems to be food in the fridge. “Which one did you want to watch?” Dirk asks.

 

“All of them,” you say absently, still looking around, “I mean, I made these movies, right? Wrote them and directed them and shit. So why shouldn’t I see all of them, get some inspiration right?”

 

“Probably shouldn’t watch all of them now - I don’t think you’ve slept yet, have you?”

 

“Sure I have.”

 

“Dave,” Dirk says, and there’s exasperation in his voice, but not anger. It’s almost… soft.

 

“Yeah, I haven’t. So?” you flop down onto the futon - in couch-form, and facing the tv, exactly like the one in your apartment.

 

“I’m cutting you off after one movie,” he decides, and you glare up at him, betrayed. It’s surprising, how carefully different he is from Bro. He sits on the couch the same, but maintains a distance whereas your Bro would have shifted closer with every indication of discomfort. He walks the same, but there’s an extra hesitance in his steps, visible when he moves towards you. He’s careful - careful like he’s afraid he’ll hurt you, or that you’ll run away from him.

 

You might, honestly.

 

Then the movie starts, and you forget _everything_ in the sheer _brilliance_ of what your alternate-self created. It’s amazing, hilarious, everything you’d hoped and wished for in a SBAHJ movie. You’re proud of it - almost like you’d made it yourself. Which, honestly, you kind of did.

 

But. If you take credit for things your alternate self did… you shake your head aggressively, rub at your temples with your fingers. Dirk looks at you, concerned, and that concern is the exact opposite of what Bro would have done.

 

“Are you okay?” you hear him ask, and “ _Toughen up, don’t show emotion”_ echoes in your brain.

 

“Headache,” you find yourself replying, even as aforementioned brain screams “ _I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine”_.

 

“Need some aspirin or something?” Dirk asks you, and you almost laugh at the absurdity of it all.

 

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” you respond, “It’s practically nothing.” He doesn’t look convinced, concern still written across his face, but he doesn’t push it either. For a while, you just sit in silence. It’s almost nice, if a bit tense - your fault - and when the movie ends, you leave.

 

“Bye,” Dirk says, and it sounds so painfully awkward.

 

“Bye,” you say back, and cringe because _god_ you sound awkward too. It’s a never-ending cycle of awkwardness, and honestly you’re not entirely sure why you’d expected that you’d sound better.

 

* * *

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 14:34!

 

TG: hey so sorry to kinda run out on you i guess  
TT: It’s fine.  
TT: You didn’t run out. Not really.  
TG: but i kinda did which was a dick move so like  
TG: im apologising  
TG: just accept it  
TT: You have nothing to apologise for, though.  
TT: I remind you of someone who hurt you severely, because  I am a version of that person.  
TT: I can’t expect you to just forget all that.  
TT: That would be wrong.  
TT: Really it’s me who should be apologising to you.  
TG: no no you really shouldnt i mean you didnt do anything to me  
TG: bro did and youre not bro so  
TG: anyway sorry

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 14:59!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 04:28!

 

TG: so hows things  
TG: seen any good movies  
TG: read any good books  
TG: debated psychology with rose  
TT: Actually, I did recently do the third one.  
TG: oh no  
TG: there really is two of you  
TT: Is that a bad thing?  
TG: not really  
TG: bro never liked psychology so like i guess its good you do  
TG: helps with separating the two of you you know  
TG: why am i telling you all this  
TG: i just meant to say youre more like rose than bro but here i go again oversharing in the most confusing manner possible  
TT: Rose uses Freud in her evaluations, and no matter what she says I will not accept that she thinks he is unironically accurate.  
TT: So really, anything she says about us and are issues are accurate but the methods she claims to use are not the ones she uses.  
TG: oh my god  
TG: im  
TG: i cannot deal with this my life is a lie

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 05:15!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:19!

 

TG: are you telling me rose has been lying to me  
TT: Kind of, I suppose.  
TG: god damnit rose  
TG: lying to me about my own mental health issues  
TG: how could she  
TT: Oh, she wasn’t lying about those.  
TG: oh no  
TG: god damnit dirk i didnt want to know that

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 11:32!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:35!

 

TT: Yes, I lied about my methods. No, I didn’t lie about my results.  
TT: You still have issues, Dave.  
TG: how do you know these things before i ask them  
TG: how did you even know i was going to message you  
TG: never mind i dont want to know  
TG: fuck you and your witchy seer ways

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:43!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 18:32!

 

TG: you told her didnt you  
TT: Maybe.  
TG: god damnit conspiring against me

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 18:39!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 09:23!

 

TG: i may need some help  
TT: What?  
TG: can you come over  
TG: please  
TG: okay cool thanks  
TG: see you soon

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 09:23!

 

TT: Dave, what?

 

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 09:23!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 12:37!

 

TG: so thanks for coming round the other day  
TT: I’m still not sure I want to know how you broke your blender.  
TG: i already told you i was blending those fucking smuppets  
TG: their protuding asses were glaring at me dirk  
TG: glaring  
TT: Okay, but what made you think blending them would be a good idea?  
TG: no fucking clue the blender was just there at the time.  
TG: seemed like an okay enough place to destroy those creatures of hell  
TT: Fair enough.  
TG: anyway i have thanked you so my job here is complete  
TG: have fun doing whatever weird shit youre doing

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 13:03!

 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 19:43!

 

TG: so how about we try meet up again  
TG: watch another of my flicks  
TG: be awesome and all that  
TT: Are you sure?  
TG: if i wasnt sure i wouldnt offer duh  
TG: come on  
TG: lets do this  
TT: Okay. Okay, sure. When do you want to meet up?  
TG: how bout now im literally outside your house  
TT: What.

 

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 19:59!

 

Shutting down your phone, you knock on Dirk’s door. You know he’s home - you asked both Roxy and Rose, because you really did want to do this. He’s helped you, and talked to you, and he’s never been overwhelming or mean - only cautious, and kind. He’s always deserved a second chance, and a third, and a fourth. If you can, you’re going to give him those chances. Especially when it’s _you_ that fucked up the previous ones.

 

In front of you, the door swings open to reveal Dirk, and for the first time in a while you don’t have to force yourself not to flinch at the sight of him. It’s… nice.

 

“I can’t believe you’re actually standing at my door,” Dirk says, his voice full of disbelief.

 

“Well I’m here now so deal,” you tell him, walking into his house. He follows you, dumbfounded. You flop down on his couch, ignoring pretty much every social thing that says you should not have done any of this, and say “Hey, so, you said you had all my movies?”

 

“Yeah,” says Dirk, and he’s almost questioning. It’s stupid. You just want to watch a movie with your brother, honestly.

 

“Then let’s watch the next one. We did watch the first one first, yeah? Then we should watch the second. Watch all of them. They are mine and like, what else could be awesome enough to watch?”

 

Dirk agrees, and together you sit and you watch and you gossip. He tells you the meanings he drew, and you laugh at him because you’re not that deep. He takes it with good grace though, the exact opposite of what Bro would have done, and you love him for it.

 

He is a different person, and you had realised that from the start, but now you _feel it_ too.

 

You hug him. He stiffens, shocked, but you just hold tighter.

 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble into his chest. He looks down at you, hesitant - you can feel it - before gently resting a hand on your back. Hugging you back.

 

“It’s okay,” he says, and for the first time in a while it really feels like it is.

 

* * *

 

 

**BONUS:**

 

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:13!

 

TT: Rose.  
TT: Rose I need help.  
TT: Dave hugged me.  
TT: About time. I was waiting for you two to make up.  
TT: Or, really, I was waiting for Dave’s heart to catch up with his mind but same-difference.  
TT: Rose, I don’t think you understand.  
TT: He _hugged_ me.  
TT: Did you hug back?  
TT: Yes! Of course I did.  
TT: Then you’re a good brother.

 

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 16:32!

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr [@faeflowerfeline](https://faeflowerfeline.tumblr.com/)
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed your valentines gift mothy!!!!


End file.
